Books > A
Message to the Reader
Either you're a separated man or at risk
of being so; otherwise you are unlikely to be reading
this book. Since many women also read this kind of book,
you may be the mother, sister, friend or even the "ex"
of a separated man. You might also be a practitioner or
academic, working with or studying men in relationship
difficulties. This book is primarily targeted to men whose
primary relationship is in deep trouble or at an end.
Whether you're physically separated or not, then you're
going to be referred to as a 'separated man'. If you're
anyone else, then you might want to start reading the
'Significant Others' section first.
This book has been written as a reader for the MENDS (Men
Exploring New Directional Strategies) program
for separated men but the self-analysis and self-help
approaches can be helpful to men at any stage of relationship
difficulty. Many of the core concepts are covered in the
MENDS program, but that is not to say that it's entirely
necessary to attend that program to obtain value from
this book. It does need to be said, however, that simply
reading this book and trying the suggestions cannot be
compared to the value of being concurrently supported
by a structured program. Any person's ability to contain
difficulties and to maintain positive changes is dramatically
improved when they're supported. So a couple of simple
messages for those separated men before we even get started.
Firstly, DO NOT GO THROUGH THIS TIME TOTALLY UNSUPPORTED!
For those of you who are desperate; ring somebody
Long overdue government funding is progressively resourcing
men's helplines around this country. Take a chance and
ring up; even if you've never done anything like that
ever before. DO NOT GO THROUGH THIS TIME TOTALLY
Those of you who do find this book helpful, please write,
phone or email me. I'm very interested in feedback (positive
or negative) regarding those elements that did make some
difference to you.
So let's learn together.
Owen C. Pershouse
Brisbane. April 2000
PO Box 240
Ph. (+617) 33596633
PS. This writer is keenly aware of the sensitivities
of many of the stakeholders and community of people affected
by separation and divorce. The history of persons and
organisations supporting men has often reflected short-lived,
reactionary, gender-myopic and even anti-social and small
p political elements. In order to put pay to any concerns,
a published set of operational values for MENDS is offerred
in this book.